


Beautiful Crime

by memelessness



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens-Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Reverse Omens-Fandom
Genre: AU-ception, Alternate Universe-Role Reversal, Crime AU, Honestly It's So Many Layers That it's Become its own thing, Implied Sexual Content, Ineffable Husbands(Good Omens), Mafia AU, Murder Husbands!!!, Other, Reverse Omens, Roleswap AU, alternate universe-cannon divergence, but because its reverse bois imma just leave here, gore tw, gun tw, knife tw, reader discretion advised, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 16:58:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20781989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memelessness/pseuds/memelessness
Summary: Though his expression showed no difference, he was mildly surprised. Corviel prided himself on his capability to judge people based on a brief interaction… but nobody had ever looked at him the way Ziraphon was right now. It was riveting, how this person was so skilled at drawing his attention. It was far more interesting than the conversation he’d previously been engrossed in.A meeting fic of the Murder Husbands





	Beautiful Crime

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song Beautiful Crime by Tamer

The room had been bathed in their favorite color. Red lights coating red walls. Red, exhausted faces that only previewed the red blood beneath layers of skin. But despite this, it was hardly a satisfying enough scene for Ziraphon.

They’d just finished their shift, walking out from behind a beaded curtain and scanning the area for a man to take them home. 

That was when their eyes fell on him. A man who sat properly on one of the newer couches in the club. His black suit soaked in the color of the lights beautifully, one leg firmly crossed over the other. His long hair draped over his shoulders, loose, red curls framing stoic, golden eyes.

He was  _ perfect. _

Everything was going according to plan. Corviel had been seated close to the exit, discussing with a longstanding rival about forming alliances. 

This, however, was not how the day will end. He knew how alliances actually worked in this business. They will say they’re your friend, butter you up, make you feel safe, then one day after they’ve gotten all the information they need, you’ll find yourself in a dark alley, scared that your next breath would be your last. He wasn’t going to make that mistake. Not again.

No, he was going to be the one to fire the gun this time, and he was going to make sure the job was done  _ right. _

But all in all, it was a pretty boring, pretty normal day.

That is until one of the… exotic dancers decided to approach him. He looked up to one of his guards, nodding slowly to remind them what they were here for. They nodded back, watching them approach as they unholstered their weapon.

All he had to do was blink. Not even a second were his eyes closed and this stranger already had a knife under the chin of one of his most skilled employees.

“Wanna try that again,  _ Buddy? _ ” They snarled out, eyes unwavering from where metal met skin… Interesting. 

Corviel raised his hand, silently granting the dancer permission to pass. They  _ fascinated _ him, so much so that he needed to have a closer look. How could he  _ not _ let them approach? 

They lowered their knife slowly, arm kept straight as they withdrew the blade and turned to face Corviel, “Guess you’re in charge?” They stowed their weapon in their right boot, voice surprisingly sweet as they walked closer to him.

“... Aren’t you a pretty, little thing.” He’d finally spoken up, extending a hand to the newcomer, “Let me get a good look at you.” As they accepted his offer, he ran a gentle thumb across the back of their hand. Stiletto nails, black as the night and filed sharp. He knew this specific work, it was done at a nail salon not too far away from here, “Tell me, Little Bird, what’s your name?”

“Ziraphon.” They purred softly, leaning forward to sink a knee into the seat beside him, “And what about you, Gorgeous~”

Though his expression showed no difference, he was mildly surprised. Corviel prided himself on his capability to judge people based on a brief interaction… but nobody had ever looked at him the way Ziraphon was right now. It was riveting, how this person was so skilled at drawing his attention. It was far more interesting than the conversation he’d previously been engrossed in, “Corviel.” He spoke in a deceivingly warm manner, wanting to study every reaction this pretty new thing could bring, “It is quite a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, the pleasure is all mine.” Ziraphon chuckled under their breath, settling the rest of their weight into Corviel’s lap.

He let out a quiet sigh, still smiling as he ran careful fingers up their thigh. Not in any sexual sense, no he definitely wasn’t  _ that _ interested in the dancer, but in an attempt to discover all the things that make them tick. Why had they approached  _ him _ , of all people? Did they not know who he is? … Well  _ clearly _ not. He was careful. He’d make sure no one knew his face, and any witnesses would quickly find themselves in a pool of their own demise.

“So tell me,” He spoke up after a few quiet moments, settling his hand against the inside of their thigh, “Why do you work here?”

Ziraphon was grinning slightly, scooting themselves closer until their noses were touching, “Do you think that’s smart? Asking a stripper why they decided to be a stripper? That’s a dangerous game you’re playing, right there.” They ghosted a tongue over their teeth, sapphire eyes trained on Corviel’s.

Peculiar… He  _ expected _ them to react differently. Perhaps a ‘daddy didn’t love me enough,’ or even a mortified look paired with a complete evasion of the topic, “But you are a fine work of art. Surely you could have done better.”

And they  _ laughed _ , tracing a playful line across Corviel’s throat as their nails barely scratched the surface, “If I’m telling the truth, it’s because I like it. The rush. The danger. The pure ecstasy of it all… Did you see my show?”

He carefully moved his hand, following the shape of their hip all the way up their waist, “I seem to have missed it.” He feigned a brief sadness, “Had I known a beauty like you were on stage, I would have dropped everything.”

“You’re quite the flatterer, Corviel.” They spoke his name with the voice of a siren, tracing their nails against a sharp cheekbone.

He slowly reached his hand down once more, tucking his fingers into their boot to acquire the knife. He knew the model. An anodized titanium bladed, Italian stiletto with a pearl handle… they had a theme.

“Now what’s a pretty thing like yourself doing with a weapon like this?” He asked, soft enough to barely be heard over the music as he further examined the knife. The blade flipped out with a crisp sound, weight evenly distributed. It was obviously well taken care of.

“I have to walk home every night.” They spoke calmly, reaching a hand to retrieve their property.

Corviel brought his arm away, further examining the blade, “This is a slashing weapon. That’s not normal for these sort of blades.” He continued, “Perfectly balanced, too. And it’s rather beautiful.” He let out a sigh, folding the blade back into its handle before returning it, “It’s fitting for something so alluring to have a matching blade.”

Ziraphon smiled as their knife was returned, keeping a firm grip on it so that it can’t be taken again. Then, in an act of spontaneity, they leaned forward, placing their lips onto Corviel’s jaw.

Corviel wasn’t stupid. He’d watched enough movies to tell that this person had been trying to sleep with him. That was not to say he was  _ inexperienced _ . He’d just never understood the attraction that others seem to feel.

He hissed as a sudden pain reached his neck… did they… did they  _ bite _ him?! It takes  _ guts _ for anyone to even consider sinking their teeth into him! And if they felt comfortable enough to  _ bite _ him, what could they  _ possibly  _ do next?!!  _ What if they were sent by somebody??!! _

His hand hovered over the holster at his hip, fingers twitching as he debated.

“Oh, sorry.” Ziraphon pulled away, wiping a thumb across their lip as their eyes remained trained on the mark, “I must’ve gotten carried away.”

… Interesting. 

This feeling he was experiencing, this intrigue in someone he’d just been concerned about. Never before had it so easily faded. He withdrew his hand, carefully reaching to the pain in his neck. He winced slightly at the contact, looking down to his fingers. Blood. They’d bitten him hard enough to draw blood? He’d never let anyone close enough to do that before.

“My ride home was supposed to be here about an hour ago.” Ziraphon grinned, skillfully running their tongue across their teeth as they traced small circles into Corviel’s chest.

Now Corviel was hardly the chivalrous type, so you can understand his surprise when he responded with, “Let me walk you, then.” Just like that? For him to go  _ completely  _ against the plan without a second thought? What was it about this creature that captivated him so? That he’d abandon everything?!

Their eyes lit up at the offer, both hands rushing to Corviel’s cheeks as they planted a firm kiss against their lips, “Yes! Thank you! You’re a  _ lifesaver _ !”

He was caught off guard, trying his hardest not to laugh at the irony of it all. He could easily push them away if he wanted. Oh, but their eyes! Like a pair of sparkling sapphires that only watched him with an insatiable hunger! 

He looked up to his guards, nodding slowly.  _ Stick to the plan, _ he’d say with only his eyes,  _ Make sure it looks like an accident,  _ “Shall we, then?” He pushed his hands against Ziraphon’s hips, taking gentle care as he pushed them off his lap.

“Oh we  _ shall. _ ” They stepped away from Corviel, gently biting onto their lower lip, “It’s just a few blocks west.”

West. There was hardly anything west from here… Maybe a few houses, and a single apartment complex, but those were more upscale. Exotic dancing must really pay well… but for Corviel to go west of here, and walk the border of his territory. That could put him in potential danger. What if a rival mob was waiting for him? And he already ordered his guards to leave him be! What if he’s outnumbered?!

Corviel stood up, returning his focus momentarily to the dead man walking, “Apologies, good sir, but it seems I must cut this meeting short.” He shook the hand of gentleman, a false smile suiting him well, “I will be sure to inform our boss about the terms we’ve discussed today.” And he walked away with the creature of intrigue, draping an arm across their shoulders.

“Your boss?” Ziraphon entertained with small talk, leaning into the touch as they tightened the grip around their knife, “Who do you even work for?”

“Never you mind, my little songbird.” He hummed softly, escorting them out of the gentleman’s club.

And it didn’t really matter  _ who _ Corviel worked for. He didn’t really work for anyone, except on paper. He was the boss- the man who didn’t need to take anything from anyone. Corviel  _ is _ the mob.

“West, you said?” He pointed toward the direction, admiring the glow of the setting sun. Night was on its way, and the streets were at their noisiest.

“Yup.” Ziraphon spoke merrily, eyes too focused on Corviel’s face, “Couple streets down. Not too far at all.”

He thought about the location, clicking his tongue as they walked, “Wait,  _ you _ live by the Willow View?” The Willow View was one of his recent accomplishments and an even better source of revenue… or at least enough that you would expect out of a hotel.

“You know the area well?” They responded, shrugging off the arm around them.

“My uncle owned the place.” The lie came easily to him, “I used to play in the neighboring complex when I was younger.”

“Family?”

“Not really.”

“They’re overrated, anyway.”

The two walked in tandem, city lights igniting as the moon rose from behind.

Corviel’s eyes focused on the hotel as his guide, no longer paying any mind to the person beside him.

And Ziraphon found this preferable. They didn’t like when their game talked. That didn’t mean they weren’t going to take their time. No, they were going to enjoy tonight, becoming enamoured in the screams like sweet ecstasy dripping from their lips. They were very skilled, after all, and they knew how to make a man cry out for mercy.

They twirled their dagger a few times before regaining their composure, thumb hovering over the button. Before the blade had fastened in place, Ziraphon swung their arm out. The blade tore through Corviel’s cheek, the wound stopping right before the artery. They didn’t want him dying  _ now _ ! Where’s the fun in that? No, they were going to make him far more beautiful than he already was!

But he wasn’t  _ screaming _ . He wasn’t crying out for mercy. Instead, he just seemed… mildly shocked... Not that they minded, they’d rather this be done quietly... but...

Ziraphon watched Corviel closely, attempting to corner him in the alley, “Not gonna run, huh?” They shuddered through manic breaths, body relaxed as their grip tightened around the knife.

Corviel had known this backstreet well, it was a part of his territory, he had to. Every single turn would lead to a dead end. It wasn’t exactly intentional, as far as he knew, but rather a design flaw that’d been overlooked for decades. Even if he  _ wanted _ to run… the only way out was through this knife-wielding stripper, and he knew that they knew that. And he realized what their eyes had meant. The insatiable hunger that hid behind a smile and clean, blonde curls. It wasn’t a need to calm an instinctual need, but rather a primitive  _ urge.  _ Today, he was prey.

But he knew how to fight back.

Ziraphon lunged forward, their dagger already painted in that deep, beautiful red they adored so much. They already enjoyed the challenge that Corviel posed as he dodged every move from thereon out, somehow able to be one step ahead. It was frustrating, and  _ irritating _ … but most of all, it was thrilling.

They’d never had someone  _ dare _ to stand up to them. That’s why they brought their victims here. To a place where the instinct of flight can be entertained, but they could still break down all senses of hope on their short legs. Where the poor soul they’d chosen can run, and yet they would still be able to get their kill.

This wasn’t the first time Corviel’s life had been threatened, be it at knife or gunpoint, or fists colliding and the sounds of crunching bones echo through the halls. Sometimes he walks out damaged, but he’d always been the one to walk away  _ alive… _ But right now, somehow, he didn’t feel threatened.

Anyone watching could tell him his life was in danger, but really this was just another dance. A merciless pas de deux, with a pain in his cheek and his heart dictating the beat.

His assailant swung  _ beautifully _ , each step methodical, and graceful, and powerful! Normally, he’d think nothing of such an adversary. They were just another factor! Another thing that got in his way!… Another creature for him to hold under his thumb... Had they not been trying to kill him, they would be  _ his. _

Ziraphon managed to get another good cut into him, though not as deep as the former, slicing through his coat and digging into his flesh. His reflexes kicked it, his own fist striking their jaw and driving them to take a step back.

They’d bitten into their lip, red blood spilling from black lipstick. It seemed they’d gotten too used to Corviel dodging that they didn’t even  _ consider _ he could actually  _ fight back… _ So they were forced to make this quick, or else their own life could be at risk. They steadied their breath, charging after their prey.

But Corviel pushed them back, gun already in his hand as he welcomed their bloodthirsty eyes. He wasn’t  _ nearly _ done with their little tango, but this was becoming dangerous.

_ Wait _ , something in him says.  _ Wait. _

His hand is unwavering, yet his finger stops on the trigger. The pretty thing is trapped between him and the wall, his Ruger nestled right under their chin, but he is too fascinated. This look right here- they’re surprised, a little scared, and impressed- it’s doing things to him that he can’t say anything has before.

What a fascinating creature.

"You're talented. You almost killed me, which is. . . a feat." Corviel pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, only a thin layer of flesh preventing the blood from spilling into his mouth. He shifted very slightly, tilting Ziraphon’s head upward as he repositioned his weapon.

"Gonna hand me to the cops?" They asked through gentle gasps, a cocky grin still plastered to their face.

"Oh no, quite the opposite. I would not have been the first man you've killed here, would I?" He asked, smiling. Ziraphon's silence is telling enough. "No, I think you and I could be quite beneficial to each other. See, I have a lot of men I need killed, and you are, undoubtedly, the most skilled person I've ever seen wield a knife." 

Ziraphon straightened up. This was so alien to them. They’d never been bested before, and now they were held against a wall, a cold, metal barrel whispering death’s sweet lullaby.

"If you work for me, I can get you benefits. You would be protected."  _ You would be mine. They wouldn't get to look at you _ .

They weren’t exactly in a position to refuse such an offer, and such a foreign proposal it was. This strange man, who they’d chosen as their victim by  _ chance _ , suddenly decided to hire them? To protect them? To just  _ pay _ them to enjoy what they do best? ". . . When do I start?"

Corviel pulled away, holstering his weapon, “Whenever your ready, I suppose.” He brushed the dust off of himself, carefully fixing his sleeves before extending a hand to Ziraphon, “Why don’t we go to my place, first? It’d be a shame for such a pretty face to heal wrong.”

Ziraphon reached down to the floor, picking up their knife before accepting the offered hand. They released an excited sigh to a familiar taste, running their tongue against the deep gash across their bottom lip. The blood they loved so much, drawn from them instead. This has never happened before. 

It was then that they realized they had just encountered the very face of death itself… and they looked forward to working with him.


End file.
